1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,670
[Reba] Now, previously on Reba...
2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,463
The audit went great.
3
00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:07,007
You are gonna love yours.
4
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:13,805
Turns out that was more of a charity
for the people who donated to it...
5
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,725
than it was for the poor "Caymanians."
6
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,643
So the charity was a scam?
7
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:21,187
"Scam," is such an ugly word.
8
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,689
No, it was more of an...
9
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,441
illegal tax shelter.
10
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,526
I'll be working with Mrs. Hart,
11
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,237
and, Dr. Hart, you'll be down
the hall with Agent Phung.
12
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,865
But, but I thought
we were gonna do this together.
13
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,825
I mean, you didn't separate
Barbra Jean and me.
14
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,994
It's just our policy
with divorced couples.
15
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,371
They're always so eager
to tell on each other. [chuckles]
16
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:43,460
We owe the government $75,000.
17
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,044
- How did they find out?
- [door opens]
18
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,761
Phung broke me!
19
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,850
[whimpering, crying]
20
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,145
- What?
- Ow!
21
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,438
[groans]
22
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:05,273
When did you talk to him?
23
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:07,442
Well, you know, I was just
passing him in the hallway,
24
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,361
and he said something about,
how would I like a cup of coffee.
25
00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:13,490
And I said, "Well, hey,
with the amount of money we owe you,
26
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,991
I should buy you coffee."
27
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:17,535
[whimpering] And then,
it kind of all just came out.
28
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,872
Barbra Jean, do you realize
what you've done?
29
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:24,334
- Now we owe the government $75,000.
- [whimpers]
30
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,418
Why are you blaming her?
31
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,836
You're the one
that lied in the first place.
32
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:27,921
- Yeah.
- Ow.
33
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,839
Oh, cut it out, blabbermouth.
34
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:31,257
Okay, this is not happening.
35
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,759
This can't be happening.
36
00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,386
I don't have $37,000, Brock.
37
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:36,387
Uh...
38
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:39,307
Actually, your share would be 37,500...
39
00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,059
I'm splitting hairs.
You go ahead.
40
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,853
I'll never be able to pay my half.
41
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,022
I only have $18 in my purse.
42
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,066
I don't even know who's on the $20 bill.
43
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:53,113
You know, they just put Jack Nicklaus
on the Scottish five-pound note.
44
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:57,867
What?
45
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,245
I'm a sucker for all things Scottish.
46
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,206
- Ow.
- You gotta do something about this, Brock.
47
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,124
Why me?
48
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,792
Because you're the one
who lied in the first place.
49
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,044
Then you went and married
Kelly MacCan't Shut Up.
50
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,045
Oh.
51
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,382
[in Scottish accent]
She with the wee little brain.
52
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,466
Oh, nice. Nice.
53
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,884
You know what, Brock,
54
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:17,262
we can't talk to her when she's like this,
we should just leave.
55
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,888
- And quickly.
- [Brock] Reba.
56
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:20,932
Hey, listen, maybe you could
57
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,518
take out a second mortgage on the house.
58
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,146
Fourth.
59
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,022
[Barbra Jean gasping]
60
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:29,774
Fourth? Ha.
61
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,986
Good God, woman,
what do you do with your money?
62
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:34,821
- Oh, that's it!
- [shouting]
63
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,531
- Reba!
- [shouting]
64
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,158
[muttering indistinctly]
65
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,452
All right, look, maybe we can work out
a payment plan with the IRS.
66
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:44,455
Oh, yeah, how about a dollar
a year for 37,000 years,
67
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:46,082
'cause that's all I can afford.
68
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,127
Actually, it'd be 37,500...
69
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,336
Eh-eh-eh.
70
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,297
You know what? Just get out.
71
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,882
Listening to you gives me a headache.
72
00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:56,259
Fine.
73
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,302
- Come on, Barbra Jean.
- Okay.
74
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,386
Let's leave Reba alone.
75
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,222
Reba, if it makes you feel any better,
76
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,100
I'm disgusted with myself too.
77
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:05,894
Okay, all right, come on.
78
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,687
Let's not leave it like this.
Come here.
79
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:08,897
Yeah?
80
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,815
- [grunts]
- [groans]
81
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,068
[theme song playing]
82
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,236
[Reba] Hey, hey.
83
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:18,740
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
84
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,992
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
85
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:25,413
♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
86
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:28,041
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
87
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,585
♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
88
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,420
♪ With gentle hands ♪
89
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,339
{\an8}♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪
90
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:40,970
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
91
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,188
[objects clattering]
92
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,991
{\an8}Do you really think that you're gonna
scare someone off with a lightsaber?
93
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,828
{\an8}I will if I use the Force.
94
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,997
{\an8}[lightsaber thrumming]
95
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,254
{\an8}Wait a minute, Van.
96
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,799
{\an8}When I went to sleep last night,
didn't you have hair?
97
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:21,552
{\an8}Yeah, I know.
98
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,680
{\an8}You know how I like to go to bed
with gum in my mouth?
99
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,517
{\an8}Well, I'm not doin' that anymore.
100
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,727
[clatter]
101
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:30,937
Intruder.
102
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,606
[lightsaber thrumming]
103
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,150
Aah.
104
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,322
{\an8}[lightsaber swooshes off]
105
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,407
{\an8}It's Mom,
106
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,367
{\an8}cleaning the oven at 2:00 in the morning.
107
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,786
{\an8}Hey, maybe she's sleep cleaning.
108
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,163
{\an8}I'm not asleep.
109
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,834
{\an8}I gotta figure a way out of this IRS debt,
110
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,711
{\an8}and I do my best thinking
when I'm drinking...
111
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:55,878
{\an8}I mean, cleaning.
112
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:01,801
{\an8}Well,
113
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,928
{\an8}is there anything
that makes you wanna cook?
114
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,763
{\an8}'Cause I think the best when I'm eatin'.
115
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:10,059
We've got big financial problems here.
116
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,311
We're making some cutbacks.
117
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,021
You ate yesterday, so, technically,
118
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,439
today is your day off.
119
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,398
Okay?
120
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,192
I'm also thinking about selling the car.
121
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,694
You're not gonna get much for your car.
122
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:20,862
Not my car, Van's car.
123
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:21,821
No.
124
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,365
You will not sell Rhonda.
125
00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:27,535
I will see you go to prison
before I let that happen.
126
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,663
- Hey.
- [Reba, Van scream]
127
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,206
[yelps]
128
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,624
[lightsaber thrumming]
129
00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:34,709
[swooshes off]
130
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,711
Barbra Jean, how did you get in here?
131
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,296
I climbed in your bedroom window.
132
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,966
I'm not knockin' on your door
at 2:00 in the morning, Reba,
133
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:42,967
that would be rude.
134
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,889
Why are you even here at all?
135
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,016
Because Brock's decided to sell our house.
136
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:52,810
What?
137
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,313
He feels so guilty,
he wants to pay the whole debt.
138
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,774
And the only way he can do that
is to sell our house.
139
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,484
I'm losing my home, Reba.
140
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,819
My child is going to be without a home.
141
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,155
- Does Mr. H have a broker yet?
- What?
142
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,034
Van, why would you even ask that?
143
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,869
[stuttering] You know, no reason.
Does he?
144
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,954
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait just a minute.
145
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:15,124
Brock is taking care of the whole debt
with the IRS?
146
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:18,002
And I'm not gonna have you as a neighbor?
147
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:19,087
Yeah.
148
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,880
Isn't it awful?
149
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,221
It's awfully somethin'.
150
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:30,306
I know.
151
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:33,309
I mean, if I move out of this block,
I'm never gonna see you anymore.
152
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,478
Oh, no, sure you will, Barbra Jean.
153
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,355
You can set up lunch twice a week.
154
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,523
Cheyenne, don't help me.
155
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,401
Barbra Jean, I don't know
what you want me to do.
156
00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:45,488
Reba, I want you to get Brock
to change his mind.
157
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,032
I mean, after all, you're the one
that put that awful thought
158
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:50,243
into Brock's weak and pliable brain.
159
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,704
No, no, no, I just told
Brock to fix the problem.
160
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:56,124
His weak and pliable brain
came up with the rest.
161
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,417
Yeah, well, I blame you.
162
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,503
Of course, you do, Barbra Jean.
163
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,297
And you know a good way
to get back at her?
164
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,258
Use me as your Realtor.
165
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,681
Well, how would that get back at her?
166
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,598
I'll drop her.
167
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:15,101
She's dead weight to me anyway,
and I been thinking about going solo.
168
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,602
No, you haven't.
169
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,396
Yes, I have.
170
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:25,194
And I don't think I can work with Mrs. H
after what she's done.
171
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,447
- Mmm-mmm.
- Well, what is it, Reba?
172
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,992
Do I hire your backstabbing partner,
or do you help me?
173
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,083
I'm sorry, Barbra Jean.
174
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,085
[stifled laugh]
175
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,588
Come on, Barbra Jean.
176
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,549
I'm gonna find you a wonderful new home
where you can feel safe.
177
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,009
- What's your price range?
- Not much.
178
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,760
- Then I can't guarantee safe.
- [whimpers]
179
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,554
Here...
180
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,097
let me walk you home.
181
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,724
- [lightsaber thrumming]
- [whimpers]
182
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,901
Hey, Barbra Jean.
183
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,027
Is this a bad time?
184
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:07,987
- Well, actually, yeah. Henry was just--
- Great. Smile.
185
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,405
[camera shutter snaps]
186
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,782
Ooh. Everything's all sparkly.
187
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,242
- [chuckles] Ooh.
- This is Jenny.
188
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,119
She's gonna be taking pictures
for the brochure.
189
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:16,621
- Hello.
- Uh, Van, wait.
190
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,914
Aah.
191
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,082
And since Jenny was gonna be here,
192
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:23,002
I figured she'd take some pictures
of me working my Realtor magic.
193
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,171
Down here by the couch.
194
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,547
But, Van, Van.
195
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:28,591
[Jenny] Oh, that's nice. I like that.
196
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,301
[Barbra Jean] Van? Van? Van?
197
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,261
Van, stop.
198
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,889
Okay, as much as I'm
enjoying the light show,
199
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,849
we're not gonna need
to make your brochure anymore.
200
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:37,808
Sure we are.
201
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:40,019
Remember, this is how
we're gonna get back at Mrs. H.
202
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:40,937
Close in.
203
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,438
Yeah.
204
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,774
But, Van, I don't wanna get back
at Reba anymore.
205
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:45,983
Mmm-hmm. Got it.
206
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,030
Okay, Barbra Jean,
don't start yelling at me.
207
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,241
I'm just here to help Van
with his brochure.
208
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,952
But, Mrs. H, remember?
209
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:58,162
We're no longer in business together.
210
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,372
[snorts]
211
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,542
You guys, I'm not mad.
212
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,253
Last night, I had an epiphany.
213
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,046
Do you all know what an epiphany is?
214
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,714
- Is that some sort of booze?
- No.
215
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:13,469
I was goin' over in my mind
what happened at Reba's house,
216
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,929
and I said to myself,
217
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,305
I said, "Babby-Jay..."
218
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,349
That's my American Idol name,
if I ever make it,
219
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,892
finger's crossed.
220
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,104
I said, "Babby-Jay,
221
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:26,899
Reba is never gonna let you
move away from her."
222
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:28,985
All right, now let me explain.
223
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,446
Reba, how many times a day do you call me?
224
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:33,656
Zero.
225
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,617
And how many times a day do you
come over here and pop in on me?
226
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:37,535
Never.
227
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:41,706
Now, how many times a day
do I pop in on you?
228
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:42,748
Fifty.
229
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,750
And apparently sometimes,
at night, through a window.
230
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:45,793
Exactly.
231
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:49,589
Now there's no way
you would put up with that if secretly...
232
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:52,758
[sing-song] ♪ You didn't like me ♪
233
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:58,347
I think somebody needs to stop
knockin' back on the epiphany.
234
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,812
Van, she always does this.
235
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,982
I get into trouble,
and she pretends to be happy,
236
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,568
and calls me a moron and a butt, you know.
237
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,069
But, then, at the end of the day,
238
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,362
she rides in and saves me.
239
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,406
She's, she's like my guardian angel
240
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,116
with a really mean sense of humor.
241
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,703
Barbra Jean,
242
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,747
this thing is bigger than the both of us.
243
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,834
We're mere pawns
in God's great chess game of life.
244
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,087
And it looks like your pawn is gonna be
245
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,632
way on the other side of the chess board.
246
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,968
Oh, okay, that's right.
I'm a pawn.
247
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,511
All right, I'll play along, Reba.
248
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:38,429
Okay, Van,
249
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,474
let's go get some pictures
of the bird bath for that brochure.
250
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,725
Okay.
251
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,186
Yeah, birds take baths.
252
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,146
Okay, let me get my pigeon loofah.
253
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,777
Hey, Mom.
Is Dad here?
254
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,904
Oh, honey, I don't know.
I just got here myself.
255
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,864
Well, would you give this to him?
256
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,991
These have a range of over two miles.
257
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,993
So I can call him
when he gets to his new house.
258
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,244
Will do, Jake.
259
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:05,039
He's still gonna be able to coach
my basketball team, right?
260
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,207
Oh, yeah, you bet.
261
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,918
And on Thursdays,
we go to that diner and have waffles.
262
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,586
We can still do that, right?
263
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,047
Absolutely, honey.
264
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,549
It's gonna be just like
when he was over at his condo.
265
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,343
You'll get to see him all the time.
266
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,302
- Cool.
- Yeah.
267
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,513
And be sure to give him
that walkie-talkie, okay?
268
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,181
I sure will. You bet.
269
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,145
Hey, did I just hear Jake?
270
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,730
Oh, yeah.
He left that for you.
271
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,399
He said he wanted to be able
to talk to you
272
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,983
when you get into your new house.
273
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,235
Oh.
274
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,821
Well, I don't think it's gonna work
at my new place.
275
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,615
Oh, yeah, he said it has a range
of over two miles.
276
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,993
Yeah, well, Reba, we're not
gonna be moving around here.
277
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,746
We're moving to Las Vegas.
278
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,084
Hey, Dad, it's me.
279
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:52,169
Just wanted to tell you I love you.
280
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,546
[exhales]
281
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,631
[clears throat]
282
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,426
[deep voice] Copy that, little buddy.
283
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,062
Brock, get back in here.
We need to talk about this.
284
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,188
What is it, Reba?
285
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,773
You can't move to Las Vegas.
286
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:15,317
Sure I can, it's one of the fastest
growing cities in America.
287
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:16,318
And they need dentists,
288
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,362
young, ambitious dentists.
289
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:20,448
You're not even two
out of three of those things.
290
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:22,867
And what about Jake?
291
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:24,702
Oh, to tell you the truth,
292
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,871
I think Jake would be
better off without me.
293
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,415
That's not true.
Jake still needs a father.
294
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,332
Does he?
295
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,460
You know, this whole IRS thing
has made me realize...
296
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,337
it's just one more time
that I've hurt the people I care about.
297
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,798
I mean, face it, Reba, I'm like a tornado.
298
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,801
I made a mess of my life
and everyone else's life I'm close to.
299
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,928
I can't believe you're even
considering this.
300
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,847
Yeah? Well, I am.
301
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,184
So you're tearing this family apart
over money.
302
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,728
Brock, you're making a huge mistake.
303
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,730
You know what?
You may be right.
304
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,899
But fortunately, making mistakes
305
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,359
seems to be the only thing
that I've been good at lately.
306
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,236
Yeah, that and being a butt.
307
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:09,288
Stupid, stupid.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
308
00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:11,373
Uh-oh, you're muttering.
309
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,875
Someone did something dumb.
310
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,002
Only your dad could take
a wonderful gesture
311
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,296
like moving Barbra Jean
away from me and wreck it.
312
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,882
He wants to move to Las Vegas.
313
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,425
- What?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
314
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:22,718
He wants to move far away,
315
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,304
'cause he's on this kick
about all the bad stuff he's done
316
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,556
and how he's ruined
everybody else's lives.
317
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,308
Well, Mom, that is so not true.
318
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:31,101
Did you tell him how great he is?
319
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:32,853
Did you remind him
about the good stuff that he's done?
320
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:35,814
I don't think
I'm the best person for that job.
321
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,484
Mom?
322
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,778
Vegas? We have to do something.
323
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,905
I don't want Dad moving to Utah.
324
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,081
Cheyenne, Las Vegas is in Nevada.
325
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,542
Oh, I'm sorry.
326
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,460
I thought you said Los Angeles.
327
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,090
[door opens]
328
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,717
Barbra Jean, just take
a look at the property.
329
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,220
Van, it's a waste of time.
330
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,764
Reba is never gonna let this happen.
331
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,474
She's a stopper, remember?
332
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,269
Van, stop trying to sell 'em a house.
333
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,186
What? Why?
334
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,146
Because I'm gonna talk Brock into staying.
335
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,399
Bingo!
336
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,651
Nice call, Babby-Jay.
337
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:21,694
Oh.
338
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,863
I knew you weren't gonna let this happen.
339
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:24,947
Oh, Reba,
340
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,284
I wish I knew the words to "Reunited"
by Peaches and Herb.
341
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,453
I'm not doing this for you.
342
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,663
I'm doing it for Jake.
343
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:33,581
Right.
344
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,040
For Jake.
345
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,418
Yeah, it's best
that we leave our bond unspoken.
346
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,003
We'll just share a look.
347
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,213
Okay.
348
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:44,884
Barbra Jean,
349
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,093
she's serious.
350
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,887
Dad wants you guys to move to Vegas.
351
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,139
- What?
- Yeah, the one in Nevada.
352
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,809
Mr. H can't move to Vegas.
353
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,895
I'm not licensed to sell houses in Vegas.
354
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,563
Yeah, and I can't live in Vegas.
355
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,190
I'm not allowed
within 500 feet of Wayne Newton.
356
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:02,484
Okay.
357
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:03,944
All right.
358
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,654
Everybody just calm down.
359
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,490
Why don't we make a list
of all the stuff that Brock is good at.
360
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,326
Then I'll take it over there,
361
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,494
and use that to talk him into staying.
362
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,412
[chuckles] Okay.
363
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,205
For Jake.
364
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:16,123
Right.
365
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,082
For Jake.
366
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,500
Okay. Yeah.
367
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:20,294
You're creepin' me out.
368
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,297
Okay, yeah.
369
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,215
I'm creepin' you out, okay.
370
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,302
Okay, good things about Brock. Go.
371
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,054
I've got plenty of good things
to say about Brock.
372
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,096
You don't get to talk.
373
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,890
He's not moving away from you.
374
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,725
Cheyenne.
375
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,560
Pass.
376
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,607
"Pass?"
377
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,484
Well, come back to me.
378
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,402
I'm not, I'm not good
at doing this under pressure.
379
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,613
- Van?
- Pass.
380
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,866
Everybody can't pass.
381
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:51,951
Mmm.
382
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:52,868
You get to pass.
383
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:53,786
Van?
384
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,621
All right, look, I like Mr. H a lot.
385
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,081
- So let's quickly review.
- Got it.
386
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,375
We got an affair.
We got a divorce.
387
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,627
We got mid-life crisis.
388
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,295
Separation from the new wife.
389
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,421
Lying to the IRS.
390
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,965
Financial ruin.
391
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,049
Cheats at golf.
392
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:10,052
He's always in the bathroom
when the dinner check comes.
393
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,263
Oddly tan.
394
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,765
Oh, all right. All right.
395
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,936
That's it.
I'll just do something on my own.
396
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,896
He's a caring and attentive lover.
397
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,695
Meeting's over.
398
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,831
[machine humming]
399
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,748
Hey, Brock.
400
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:40,749
Hey.
401
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,089
What are you doing?
402
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:48,549
Uh. Oh.
403
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,883
Oh, I was just...
404
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,719
getting in one last tan
405
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,930
on my Tan Blaster 2000
before I send it back.
406
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,598
[Tan Blaster winding down]
407
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,186
I don't wanna stand out in the desert.
408
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:04,231
Really? Are there a lot of orange people
in Las Vegas?
409
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:07,860
Yes.
410
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,071
Well, look, Brock, I was, uh,
411
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,866
telling the kids about what you said
about the tornado
412
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,659
and ruining people's lives,
413
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,163
and, man, you, you should have
heard them singing your praises.
414
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,706
[chuckles] Really?
415
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:21,915
- Yeah.
- What'd they say?
416
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:24,960
Oh, well, what happened
is they were, uh...
417
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,004
They were all yelling,
418
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,339
yelling about all the great stuff you do,
419
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:31,425
and, and talking at the same time.
420
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:32,593
I mean, it was like a love fest.
421
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,470
I was looking at the calendar saying,
422
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,846
"What is this, Brock Day?"
423
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,514
[both laugh]
424
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,141
Really? What did Cheyenne say?
425
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,392
Why do you push?
426
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,396
They couldn't think of anything,
could they?
427
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:46,774
No.
428
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,484
But they tried.
429
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,153
You should have seen how hard they tried.
430
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,906
Doesn't that show you how much they care?
431
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,159
Look, I, I know they do.
I know they do.
432
00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:00,537
I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore,
and that's why I'm leaving.
433
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,331
That's not called leaving, Brock.
434
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,707
That's called running away.
435
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:06,543
And that's what you do
every time things get tough.
436
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:07,836
What are you talking about?
437
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,338
What am I talking about?
438
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,382
I'm talking about when things got tough
between you and me,
439
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:13,759
you ran to Barbra Jean.
440
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,803
And when things got tough
between you and Barbra Jean,
441
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,262
you ran to the golf course.
442
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,847
And when things
are getting tough around here,
443
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,516
you're running off to Las Vegas.
444
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,018
I'm just trying to do
what I think is best for everyone.
445
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:26,563
Breaking up a family
is not good for anybody, Brock.
446
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:31,735
We did that once before.
447
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,403
Let's not do that again.
448
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,740
Are we still a family, Reba?
449
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,743
As crazy as it sounds,
450
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,120
yes.
451
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,873
With everything
we've got going against us, Brock,
452
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:47,334
it shouldn't work, but it does.
453
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,298
And that's why I'm able to tell you this.
454
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,010
You got a white patch
on the back of your neck.
455
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:13,819
[door opens]
456
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,571
[laughs] Well,
457
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,781
Mrs. H,
458
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,993
I hope you're H-A-P-P-Y.
459
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,622
Actually, I'm C-R-A-B-B-Y.
460
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,542
Oh.
461
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,837
I just talked to Mr. H,
462
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,506
and thanks to Little Miss Susie Do Right,
that's you,
463
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,425
I lost two commissions,
464
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,510
the one that I would have gotten
from selling their house...
465
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,679
and the one that I would've gotten
from selling them a new one.
466
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,681
Three, actually,
'cause when I heard about it,
467
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,057
I was with another client,
468
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,851
I lost my temper and took it out on them.
469
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,979
"Excuse me, Mr. Montgomery,
what's a bonus room?"
470
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,064
"It's a bonus! Be happy!"
471
00:19:57,821 --> 00:19:59,406
So they're not moving to Las Vegas?
472
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,992
That's right,
Miss Susie Two-and-Two-Makes-Four.
473
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,244
They're not goin' anywhere.
474
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:07,581
Mr. H is gonna come up
with the money somehow
475
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:08,790
to pay off the IRS
476
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,251
that does not involve me
getting a commission.
477
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:12,377
[laughs]
478
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,757
You know what, we should put up
a billboard of you holding a gun,
479
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,675
that says, "Nobody move!"
480
00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:24,848
So they're not moving out of state...
481
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,976
yet Barbra Jean
is still gonna be my neighbor.
482
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,520
[murmurs, mutters]
483
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:33,774
[murmurs, mutters]
484
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,945
So, how does that make you feel, Mrs. H?
485
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,071
Pass.
486
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,827
Well, anyway, I think
there's something wrong with Mr. H.
487
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:46,912
I think he's sick.
488
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,831
'Cause he's got a giant red patch
on the back of his neck.
489
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:56,171
[closing theme music playing]
490
00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:26,159
{\an8}Acme! [coughing]